How I will spend my Saturday

Campari still life - Quimper, France September 2004

Tomorrow, I embark on something that I am not proud of. I am flying for the sole reason that I need miles. Yes, I am short about 15,000 miles this year and there is a big difference between sitting with 85,000 miles and 100,000 miles flown to date when there are 8 confirmed upgrades to business class that are there for the taking... So, I did the math, bowed to the great circle route mapper, whipped up an excel spreadsheet and started looking for cheapish fares that would get me the miles and not take me to Peoria via Tallahassee in the shortest amount of time. The following is an email I sent some friends nearly two years ago when I did the same thing, but only once.

To: JK, BH et. al
From: NM
Subject: what not to wear or do on a transcon

I am so embarassed that I spent most of last night and most of today flying. Really. I question my allegiance to money grubbing airlines who treat me like the queen that I deserve to be, most of the time.

Leave the house at 8 pm, go to blockbuster, get a few dvds, go to airport. It's beautiful in seattle, Why am I leaving? Get to airport, try to check in for return flight, won't let me do it. I don't understand why, Alaska lets you check in for as many segments as you want within 30 hours of flight time.Go to club, have nice lady try to price out itinerary to London, it's expensive. Sit in club, get bored go to gate. Get to gate, we are late by at least 20 minutes to board. It is a white boy flight (WBF) except for some of those overly new yorky women. Flight is smooth, but the flight attendants insist and really insist on gabbing at full volume in the galley during most of flight, I am in seat 1b, i am not amused.food is passable. I have a few almonds, a light gin and tonic and eat the inside of my quiche. I forgo the rest, I try and fall asleep to billy bragg.

Finally wake up to realize that we are about 25 minutes late arriving, this is not good as I don't have a boarding pass for my next flight, set in a mild panic.Thankfully we land and my next gate is only 3 away. Flight is really really full, volunteer, they take me and I get a measly voucher for 200 bucks (covers my next nyc flight in august) and put me on a jfk-stl-sea flight. I take it because that service is gone as of next month (can you believe it?).

The gate agents are super duper bitches, I request to be put on the waitlist for a FC seat and she refuses. I tell her that she is a great piece of American work, she feels the same about me. Notice that she does not give me a connecting boarding pass for my STL to SEA flight. This makes me a bit suspicious.

Schelp through the third world airport that is terminal 8 at jfk. Oy the masses that should consider shower to shower! Go to terminal 9 and right to the Admiral's Club, explain my lack of boarding pass to the head agent/receptionist. Turns out I don't have a seat or a flight coupon, she fixes it for me and gets me an exit row. Okay, no upgrades available.FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY AA CAREER (JULY 2001 - current) I AM SITTING IN COACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm okay with this. Go to au bon pain, get a yoghurt, coffee and wrap, skipped the chocolate chip cookies and milk the AA offers on the SEA-JFK flight at 5:30 AM. Maybe a breakfast buritto, but a cookie? Go through the line, take out laptop, blah, blah, go to second world gate area at terminal 9, reconsider coming home and consider getting on flight to Aruba. Board past all the fc passengers --- hey, I am one of you, get wistful for a second. Actually I don't really like the AA FC md80 seats, so I'm okay. Row 10 has good leg room, power ports and they block the seat next to me.

Did I mention the jesusdiedforyoursinsyouratbastard.com Campus Crusade for Christ has about 75 of the coach seats on this plane. It was scary, lots and lots of bibles open and they were wearing lanyards with their IDS. I was scared.

Sit on plane, we're not going anywhere, we have a mechanical. Call Executive Plat desk, they protect me on the following Seattle flight. Now I won't get home until 5 pm. I'll have three hours to sit and work in STL. Not bad, not good. Finally leave, work for a while, realize that we are making up time, but we are at gate by 11:45 --- gate D18 to gate c27. Can she do it? Her next plane leaves at noon.She runs, she sprints, she knocks over old people and she makes it. :)

Even manages to get a bistro bag which in her opinion is way better than most FC meals served on AA. No powerports on this plane, so i read, watch the Sopranos and think. Good views, but i'm on the aisle. Good service and very comfortable, I may reconsider using upgrades for short flights.

So, I'm home now and not in the mood to go anywhere. Unfortunately, that is not an option.I am so happy my lucy yoga pants were comfortable and I was wearing running shoes, cause I needed them today!

NM

Wish me luck, the weather at JFK tomorrow afternoon doesn't look that hot and my upgrade only cleared one way.

nm